Feedback on my short story!?

First, your story is quite amusing as well as clever! You ask for feedback, so I feel obligated therefore to offer a critique; I hope that you will find it helpful! In the first paragraph where you use sporadically, I think the word that you really want is randomly; sporadically mean occurring at odd intervals. I think, too, that where you wrote grabbed, you most likely intended to follow the word with it; there are a couple of places where you've omitted words, I think. Just proofread what you've written, and you'll find them. In the fifth paragraph, you've used the word once twice in the same sentence; when I write, I try never to use a word too frequently or repetitiously. Perhaps you might think that my criticism is a bit niggling, but I tend to be a perfectionist -- sorry! What are your plans for your story? I do like it! Good luck!